As a parent, are you constantly reprimanding and punishing your child's inappropriate behavior? Would you like to stop yelling at them and create peace in your home?
It's impossible, you say? The change is actually easier than you might think.
The key is to be alert for the good behavior and lavish on the praise, while ignoring the minor infractions. If you don't see any good behavior at all, then make up something your child "might" have done and let everyone know how proud you are for this great behavior. There could be some confusion since your child knows they didn't actually do what they're being praised for, but the positive attention still has a huge impact on how they feel.
When the only attention a child gets is negative, then they are being encouraged to continue the bad behavior to get attention. It's a vicious cycle that you, as the parent, need to put a stop to.
Children learn to behave in positive ways when they get consistent, encouraging guidance from you. Give praise and attention when you notice your child behaving well, and guide them toward more positive behavior when necessary.
Spending quality one-on-one time with your child doing activities that they love makes a big impact on their behavior. When they know that you value them as a individual, they are more likely to behave in a positive way. Your child watches you to get clues on how to behave, so being a good role model is important.
Communicate your feelings about their behavior, whether it's good or bad. Understanding the impact of their actions on the people around them will help them develop compassion for others. Listen when your child is willing to talk to you so they feel heard and respected.
Make sure you keep the promises you make to your child, and they will learn to trust and respect you. Follow through on the consequences for inappropriate behavior also.
Sometimes it's important to "choose your battles." Maybe something your child is doing isn't worth discussing, and simple redirection would solve the problem. The way you state instructions sets the tone for their behavior. You'll see a more positive response when you say, "I really appreciate when you close the door," rather than yelling, "You always leave the door open!"
Even very young children enjoy having responsibilities, and as they get older, they can understand consequences. A simple discussion about what happens when they leave their favorite toy outside is more impactful than a punishment.
Give your child opportunities to succeed with simple chores to help the whole family. Praising their efforts to others encourages them to continue. Allow your child to "overhear" your conversation with another person about how great they are.
There will be challenging situations, though, so it's a good idea to plan ahead for the best way to handle them. Talk to your child about what you expect and ask for their cooperation. If they misbehave, prepare to enforce consequences, and discuss later after everything has calmed down how they could have handled it differently.
When you have parenting questions, the teachers at Endless Discoveries are always willing to talk to you and offer suggestions.
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